How things change: Family Language Diagram (updated)

I just updated our family language diagram and was startled by the changes that have occured in only one and a half years! (See the original diagram in the right-hand side bar).

The first diagram was depicting especially the desired situation, while this one is a more concrete and objective picture of what goes really on in our family. Although the Belgianite and myself are returning strictly to OPOL, the circumstances and social interactions are such that all of the other languages are inevitably spoken by us around the kids as well.

The good new is that Milo (now almost 5) and Zeno (just over 2 and 1/2) seem to be developing their main three languages very harmoniously and clealry. I am constantly reassured by Milo's maitresse and by Zeno's day-care personnell about their excellent proficiency in French; their Italian is up to the standards of kids their age, with tiny mistakes every once in a while (past participles, cannott roll the 'r' fully), but similar to their same age Italian counterparts; as for the Dutch, I am the last one to be able to judge, but the Belgianite assures me they are up to speed and have no trouble whatsoever in communicating when in Begium. Milo has been indeed more and more disciplined in addressing his dad in Dutch direclty, even in my presence.

One thing they do not like, though, is us transgressing the rules: they do not like me reading a book in French or Dutch. There are some books they accept in English, though, but for the most part they want Italian from me.

Zeno's meta liguistic awareness is also coming along. Little conversation witnessed yesterday:

Me: "Allora, in che lingua lo volete vedere questo DVD? C'è in Francese, Olandese , Inglese e Spagnolo" (which language do you want to watch this DVD in?)
Zeno: "In Francese! In Francese!" (French)
Milo (whom, up to this point, amused himself by watching this particular DVD in Spanish, for some reason, but is sensistive to his little brother's request): "Sei sicuro, Zeno?" (are you sure?)
Zen: "Si, in Francese" (yes)
Milo: "Ma lo capisci il Francese, Zeno?" (but do you understand French?)
Zeno: "Si, si." (yes)
Milo: "Alla crèche parlate Francese?" (do you speak French in daycare?)
Zeno: "Si, in Francese." (yes)

Multilingualism Literature

SmE from Tampa Bay, Florida as well as Hanna, a young Swedish mum residing in Brussels, have been asking me for books to advise on multilingualism. I don't have a long extensive list, but I did come across some useful sources in the last few years and I'm happy to share them.

When pregnant with my first son, I begun my quest for information on multilingualism, as in France I could not find much support from the childcare specialists nor the pediatricians. Thanks to the Internet, I stumbled across some amazing blogs from other multilingual families. Then we found out about the BBFN, which then produced Multilingual Living magazine. I also corresponded by email with some pediatricians from Canada, Belgium and Switzerland (all multilingual countries). Finally I read a few books. Among all of these sources, I was able to draw some conclusions and come up with some sort of family language(s) strategy, a concept which I think is very important and at the same time should remain flexible, suiting the family evolution.

There are two books that were particularly helpful in the process: the first I read was "Raising Multilingual Children," by Tracey Takuhama-Espinosa; although I found it more taylored for an American readership (whether in the USA or abroad), it offered a very broad and well organized vision of all the elements that can contribute to a successful multilingual child, from an academic/pychologic/linguistics as well as personal point of view (Tracey is married to an Ecuadorian, and with their three children they have lived in the US, Japan, in Ecuador and in Switzerland; her personal experience is very refreshing throughout the book). The book is very pertinent for a bilingual family as well as a multilingual one (trilingual or more). The author identifies specific time windows of opportunities from birth to old age, which should be used purposefully in passing on the family languages; she also introduces variables such as the child personal aptitude, the siblings ranking, gender and even hand use as all having a strong influence on the end result, that is given that a proper strategy, motivation and consistency from the parents have been in place, wisely mixed with the environmental opportunities to strenghten the language skills. Although I never found my particular family scheme quite spelled out in the book, I did retained several notions that helped me considerably throughout Milo's first 4 years.

Another book which was very fulfilling and provided an endeless array of case studies is "The One-Parent-One-Language Approach, Language strategies for bilingual families," by Suzanne Barron Hauwaert. We did choose the OPOL method and if that is your case, this book is THE source on how to apply it, but not only: where did it came from, the pre-school years vs the schooling years, interaction between family members etc. All brillianty supported by surveys and case studies, making it all very accessible and full of common sense. The author is coming out very soon with another book on siblings comunications within multilingual families, which I'm very eager to read.



If you are starting out with your first child, there is a book which I would recommend that has nothing to do with multilingualism, but that has been of immense help to me: "How to parent," by Fitzhugh Dodson, a 1970 classic on pedagogy (I read it in French and I love the prophetic title in the French translation: "Tout se joue avant 6 ans," that is all is defined before age 6). There are a lot of hands on advices on how to anticipate the challenges linked with each age, and how to maximise the potential of the child at each stage. There's a lot of attention to language. And despite the fact that it was written almost 40 years ago, I did not sense at all a generational gap, it all makes perfect sense for our contemporary crazy life.

Another good source of information is the editor Multilingual Matters, which issues a quarterly newsletter called the Bilingual Family Newsletter, collecting several case studies and providing answers from experts. You can dowload a free past issue sample from their site.

Finally, the last issue of Multilingual Living is focused on trilingualism. If this pertains to you, check out Alice Lapuerta's interview to Xiao Lei Weng, author of the lastest book on trilingualism "Growing up with three languages." Haven't read it yet, but I loved the interview!

Should you readers have any particular book you found helpful that you'd like to share, don't hesitate to write me at multitonguekids@yahoo.com , would love to know what you guys are reading!

Tid bits

Zeno (2.8) at his daycare
A little girl tells him:
"Mon cousin s'appelle Ilan" (My cousin's name is Ilan)
Zeno replies: "Mon cousin s'appelle Spider Man!" (My cousin's name is Spider Man!)





Milo (4.10) on the metro









We were flipping through a magazine on our way to a movie when we saw
this picture, illustrating an expo on Darwin and the Evolutionary Theory.

He looks at it curiously, and so I explain him the theory in very simple terms. He looks at me with a smirk and says:" Nooo, non funziona mamma: quest'uomo da piccolo era un
bebé, non una scimmia!" (It does not work like this: this man ,when he was
little, he was a baby, not a monkey!"

It's all about trilingualism!

The new Winter issue of Multilingual Living is out and about!
You can subscribe to it on the BBFN website, and learn all there is to know about trilingualism.

Meeting a mirror multilingual family

This weekend we went to the birthday party of a charming Italian boy who lives in our neighborhood. The parents are both Italian and they have been living in Paris for a decade. Italian is spoken at home, and French at school. The boy is perfectly bilingual and shows no French accent when speaking Italian (the family frequently travels to Italy for holidays or long weekends).

At the gathering we met several other fellow Italian women, one married to a French man, another to an Indian man and... even one to a Flemish! We were exstatic to have found a mirror family! The mother is Italian and the father is Flemish. They have two lovely girls, younger than my kids (6 months and 2 and 1/2). The main difference (linguistically speaking!) is that they speak Italian at home! Italian is indeed their family language. The father speaks Dutch with the girls, but only in one-to-one situations. So far they haven't had any problems and their first girl seem to be fluent in both Italian, French and Dutch (they also travel regularly to Belgium and Italy). What triggered the choice of their family language was that the father already spoke Italian when they met and they lived in Italy for a few years.

The Italian-Indian family was also very intriguing. Their three gorgeous kids (aged 9, 7 and 2) speak fluently Italian, French and Marati, the father's language. The father is also fluent in Italian, which ends up again being the family language. The kids pick up on Marati on summer trips to India.

Languages and cultural affiliation took up much of the conversation that afternoon; there was an ease in recognizing each other, we all shared, as parents of multilingual kids, the same pride and concerns. The kids all played harmoniously and happily, speaking...all of their languages!

Olympic pride and hints of national identity

Last summer we watched the Beijing Olympic Games; we were vacationing on the Italian Alps and every evening, coming back from a long day spent hiking, we enjoyed chilling out by watching some great sports event. It was useful also to introduce Milo and Zeno to some sports that are not frequently accessible and televised, like swimming , martial arts, volleyball etc.

As we were in Italy, RAI broadcasted primarily the competitions featuring Italian athletes, therefore I was enthusiastically cheering for someone at any given event; the Belgianite had not much chance to support his country, and so he'd fall onto the USA. The kids were amused, and rivaled at recognizing each flag.

On one swimming sprinting event in which both Italy, Belgium, and France were competing, Milo spontaneously picked....France, leaving us speechless and, yes, feeling somewhat betrayed! It wasn't just out of imitation of us, I sensed that in the French flag he saw a symbol in which he identified at some level (the French flag is not as visible in France as the American one is in the USA, but we do see one from our apartment, and there is one at the entrance of Milo's school), the same way he's keen to recognize Sarkozy on magazines' covers, ever since I pointed out to him that he's France's President and his picture does reign in his school main hall).

Another related episode concerns a Spanish song we have been singing all summer in the morning: "Buenos dias, hermanos, pasatelo bien hoy" (good morning brothers, have a nice day). One day I was trying to get Milo and Zeno motivated to get in the bat thub and called them 'hermanos' (brothers in Spanish); Milo immediately replied: "But we are not Spanish!"

The notion of national identity in multicultural kids is truly fascinating, and scarce research is available. I posted before about TCKs and the way they are true citizens of the world, at ease everywhere, and at the same time often lacking specific roots... and I often wonder whether my kids will inevitably feel a stronger affiliation to France and the French culture, or if they will also have some emotional root in my native Italy. My main concern not being one over the other, but rather the concretization of a sense of root, which, I imagine, on one hand will depend greatly upon how long we will live here and how often we will move.
National identity is not just limited to a passport, a flag, a spoken language; it's a tightly-knit, complex bundle of sounds, music, flavours, traditions, scents, values we feel part of...and this is the fiber of the patrimony I'm keen on passing on, and that I wish my kids one day will also identify with. Because..."A country's culture and language have a habit of seeping in through an expat's pores. But becoming a parent, brings home the need to remember your national identity."(Expatica website)

When translating is an inevitable part of the game

During the Christmas break we visited with family in Italy and Belgium. Milo brought along his kindergarden school book, a scrap book where his teacher keeps his drawings, classroom work and text of songs and poetry he learns. He was eager to show it off to his grandparents and, although rather shy when asked by me to sing these songs, he gave a full show to the Italian side of the family. What was truly impressive was that, while singing in French, he was also simultaneously translating the lyrics in Italian for his audience, adding also some explanation remarks! It would have been an exhausting exercise for any adult, but he seamlessly sang his way though dozens of French Christmas carrols!

* * *

Last night we were playing a game at the dinner table: Milo and I prepared a veggie soup and the Belgianite was to guess the secret ingredient, which was 'white beans' (fagioli in Italian and witte bonen in Dutch); we often play these type of games, where we both give the respective version of an item, plus the English version. the conversation went something like this:

Me (in English to the B.): "So, what do you think is in the soup, papa?!"
Belgianite: "Broccoli...potatoes?"
Milo (in Dutch to the B.): "Nen Papa, daar arent potatos in de soep!"
Me (in It. to Milo): "No, no, niente patate!"
Belgianite: "Wortelenjes?"
Milo: "Ja, ja!"
Me (in English to the B.): "And what else?!"
Belgianite (in Dutch to Milo): "Uien... knoflook..."
Milo: "Nen!"
Me (in It. to Milo): "Si Milo! Ti ricordi? All' inizio abbiamo messo le cipolle e l'aglio..."
Milo (in It. to me): "Ah si, mi ero dimenticato!"
Belgianite: "Green beens?"
Me (in English to the B.):"No! By the way, how do you say green beens in Dutch?"
Belgianite (In English, to me): "Groenen bonen. There is also a type called princes bonen"
Milo (in It. to me): "Cosa sono?"
Me (in It. to Milo): "I fagiolini, quelli verdi e lunghi..."

Milo was dying to suggest his dad what was the missing ingridient, and so I defyied him:

Me (in It. to Milo): "Puoi solo dirlo se lo sai in Olandese!" (You can only say it in Dutch!)
Milo hestated a little than said: "Dat is the kleine fagiolini!"

Me: "I fagioli! Sono i fagioli!"
Belgianite: "Ah, Milo, dat is the witte bonen!"

* * *

Recently Milo has asked me to watch a DVD ( which he has seen a half a dozen times in English or Dutch) in the...Spanish version. He was amused to recognize quite a few words from a CD we used to play last year with Spanish children songs...but especially, at the crucial points of the story, he would turn to me and say: "Perchè, mamma, in Inglese dicono Santa Claus e in Olandese de Kerstman !" (In English it's Santa Claus and in Dutch it's de Kerstman), somehow feeling I needed to be filled in on the plot!