The challenge of choosing the perfect multilingual-baby name

Thi is an article I wrote for the column Eurapsody, featured in 'Multilingual Living Magazine' in March 2006. I am posting it today with a special dedication to my friend Holger, a German native living in Japan, who's going to be soon father of another Multi Tongue Kid!


Choosing a name for a (future) multilingual kid can be quite a task. There are issues of pronunciation in both parents' languages, eventual meaning in each of the parents' culture, personal taste, tradition, etc. For out first child, coming up with his name was an ordeal: we felt the responsibility of choosing an identity we (and he) will have to live with for a long time, but, especially, an identity which worked in several cultures. We were so concerned about the name that the poor kid remained nameless for the first three days of his life!

In our case, the criteria were multiple: we needed a short name, since the father's last name is quite long. We also needed a name that could be pronounced in Dutch, Italian and French, and that could make sense in English too. The initial draft list was huge, and so many names we liked had to be scratched for one of the above incompatibilities!

-Dad liked Kaan, but it sounded like cane (dog in Italian).
-Mum liked Matilde (for girl), but the reference to the homonymous Belgian princess was too much to bear for Dad.
-Mum and Dad liked Vyn/Vin, but in French it would have been mistaken for Bacchus' juice (wine!).
-Many Flemish names would have simply been unpronounceable for the Italian side of the family
-We even dared Vancouver, on the list! But it was too cacophonic with the last name (which starts with "Van" as well).

After long discussions, Milo (pronounced mee-lo) and Sander were the chosen finalists. Somehow we thought that Milo would have been perfect for a dark, Mediterranean boy while Sander would have fit well a blond, Scandinavian type. It was Milo the blond, in the end!

So, here are 8 tips on things to consider when choosing a name for a future multilingual baby:

1. Consider carefully the pronunciation of the chosen name in all the languages involved in your life, and make sure that the name does not carry an undesired hidden meaning.

2. Make sure the name is easily pronounceable in the language of the environment, and by all the relatives/friends who will be part of the baby's life.

3. Make sure the chosen name correctly reflects the sex of the baby in all the languages you will be involved with (Andrea is a feminine name in the USA, but masculine in Italy).

4. Don't be afraid to be creative and to reflect the baby's multicultural background! However, think carefully how fun or hard it is going to be for him/her to be too much original and singled out.

5. Consider the initials: make sure they also don't spell out undesired meanings.

6. Consider carefully family traditions (like naming the child after the grandfather or an uncle, for instance): make sure other living relatives are not currently carrying the same name, avoid homonymy, if possible. Reserve such names for the middle names.

7. If you're considering original names, be wary of commercial products that might carry them. Perform a Google search for the name, just in case! (We found out afterwards that Milo is also the name of a milk drink popular in Australia...luckily it is not distributed in Europe).

8. Consider any nickname that might derive by your chosen name, and submit the nickname as well to the cultural/linguistic analysis of both parents' languages.

The double last name backfires !

It was exactly a year ago, right before Zeno was born, that I was pondering if I should have jumped on the opportunity to add my last name to my sons, as the French law just changed to allow that. Your comments and shared experiences on the topic helped me substantiating my gut feeling, and right before the deadline expired, I decided to go for it. In the meantime, for every day life, I have been using mainly the Belgianite’s last name (for the kids’ doctor appointment, etc.), just as I thought. Milo’s application for his kindergarden is the first official document showcasing the double last name, and I haven’t had the slightest trouble fitting both in.

But the unthinkable just happened: as I realized that my passeport is about to expire, I asked the Belgianite to add the children on his passport as well, just to be on the safe side for summer travel. And then we smacked against the fantastic wall of pan-European legal discrepancies: the double last names are not legally recognized in Belgium! An operator at the Belgian embassy kindly offered the unbelievable piece of information:

from www.diplomatie.be

Conformément au Code de la Nationalité Belge, "est Belge l'enfant né à l'étranger :
d'un auteur belge né en Belgique ;

"Double nom"

La possibilité prévue par la loi française de choisir, pour l'enfant, le nom de la mère, du père ou celui de ses deux parents n'existe pas en droit belge.

Le fonctionnaire d'état civil français doit appliquer la loi belge en matière de nom de l'enfant.

Si l'un des parents est français et transmet sa nationalité à l'enfant, il sera possible de choisir le nom de famille dans l'acte de naissance. Cependant, ce nom ne sera pas reconnu selon la loi belge s'il n'est pas conforme aux règles du code civil belge. L'enfant portera alors deux noms différents selon sa nationalité. Ceci posera des problèmes tôt ou tard, puisque le nom sur les documents belges sera différent de celui sur l'acte de naissance et autres documents français.

A couple of days later I learnt that Italy as well does not recognize the double last name!
As Italy and Belgium allow multiple nationalities, the kids have both, but in theory we should need to issue a separate individual Italian and Belgian passeport for them with only the father’s last name (with all the potential risks of further confusion in creating another identity). And apparantly, it is all the 'fault' of the French clerks at the city hall, who should have known this (or at least checked on it) and should have forbid us to add my last name!

So, for the moment they stay on my passport, while we are hoping that the double last name regulation will be harmonized among European countries in a near future. I don't regret my choice, but I am afraid that the hassle has just begun...

The last name saga

Thank you all for the precious inputs and advise regarding the last name issue, they all helped me a great deal in my decision making process. So, finally I decided to go ahead and indeed attach my last name to the Belgianite's for the boys. Zeno is already registered with both and Milo is currently being modified. I hesitated until the last moment... and then, on June 30 in the morning, I simply saw it clearly in my head. The Belgianite ran to the city hall 15 minutes before deadline and made it! I love him dearly for that, too!

Living with long last names: a poll among the readers

I have recently posted about a new law which allows French mums to transmit their last names too to their progeny. I have been thinking about adding my last name to Milo, and consequently to his coming brother. As the deadline for presenting the papers approaches (June 30), discussions have intensified with the Belgianite, who declares himself in agreement with the principle but is very skeptical on the fact that we both happen to bear pretty long last names, and is convinced we are condemning our kids to a series of impracticalities which will make they bureaucratic life a nightmare.

I can’t make my mind up: am I being too selfish? The main reason to add my last name is to give my children the option to pass it on the day they will have children, especially if they will choose to live in Italy. It is not about a narcissistic need to see my last name associated to their names daily: I’d be happy with them using the father’s last name in everyday life, however, a city hall officer confirmed that they will have to use both last names in every official documentation (from school registration to the bank, and so on).
The Belgianite flashed me a credit card, a social security card, a passport and said: “Look! There isn’t even enough space for our two last names!” (which, together, account for 20 letters). I suspect that his cold and rational approach do hid an emotional reason, somewhere in his unconscious…
Objectively, I think we are not going to be the only ones in this situation and the administrations will have to adapt their forms accordingly, if they haven’t already; also, as previously noted, in France the double last name is a custom already present among the old aristocracy, so we are certainly not the first ones with long and complex names; finally, technology is constantly evolving, by the time my boys will be 18 they won’t probably circulate with passports and ID cards anymore but all our data will be retrieved by the iris of our eye or a chip in-planted in our index, or via fingerprints.
The only painful view from the future that such a decision brings me is when I imagine the kids in elementary school, learning how to write their names and spending hours to spell out their full last names…
So, I ask my readers to manifest themselves with their opinion, especially the ones who have a long last name, those to happen to have a double one or know someone who do, and let me know if it has been really an handicap for them or not and to what extent it has been a pain in the neck (if anything) in their lives! Help me make the right choice!!!